I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
