can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize