If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize