i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
