Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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