And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
