I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
honey bunches of taint.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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