i jhust puked up my retainher.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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