Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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