Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
