yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
