Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
