i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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