I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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