Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
