home. puking in laundry basket.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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