My friends, they love my intelligence
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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