i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
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