i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize