I just saw a hot homeless man
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
