Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
