cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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