So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
