this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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