I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
