we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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