Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
