forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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