so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
