Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
