I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
