): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
