I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
