I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
