You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize