I need help removing her.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
