can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize