its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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