He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
