the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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