He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
