Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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