don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
