I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
