And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize