I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
