He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
