So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
