I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
