No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
