Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
PS: I just woke up from my shower
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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