Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
