I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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