I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
