i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
