Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
