my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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