Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize