dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
