Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
