Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
