Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
