weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
third nipple confirmed
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
