Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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