No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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