Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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