Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
